What Was the Sexual Revolution for Women?

Having been someone who was part of this revolution, I still am not really sure I could call it a revolution when I think about pre-patriarchal times, about 5000 years ago when communities were based around the mother-child bond and the apprehension and experience of deity was of a great mother, the Goddess, or whatever you choose to call Her. Since humanity has lived longer in peace and woman-centered culture than we have lived in war, lies and male domination, I find it difficult to define what has been called a sexual revolution as a true revolution because I would need it to shatter the global confines of the patriarchal imprisonment women suffer daily, which it has not. As feminist writer and "thealogian", Mary Daly says, "There is a kind of seductiveness about a movement which is revolutionary, but not revolutionary enough." (Beyond God the Father)

So, what happened for women during this time of sexual revolution? Certainly, the 60's ushered in a new approach to the "Father Knows Best" mentality shoved down the throats of our mothers and grandmothers from previous eras. Because the 60's were a time of consciousness revolution and an opening into a collective spiritual awakening, sexual roles and conditions were examined and changed. Women burned our bras, refused to shave, threw off the shackles of oppression as well as our clothes and danced wildly at love-ins. However, we were still objectified, and continue to be. I know of one community in which the women decided to no longer "take care" of men. They got out of their marriages and refused to cook, launder, and tend to the "needs" (read "addictions") and sexual desires of men. I consider this community a true revolutionary outpost during its' time. I know a woman who was raised in the consciousness of these women. Because of her feminist upbringing, she was able to see the lies of patriarchal thinking from a very early age and was somewhat spared the oppressive weight of having to conform to being a good daughter of the of patriarchy, which groomed girls to become future Mrs. Cleavers-obedient, pathologically cheery and ever-presently perfect, while really enslaving them to care-take men on many levels. For centuries, women have been forced to become the bedmates of men to be used as a narcissistic extension of the male sexual organ. This condition is heinously consistent the world over.

When we talk about women and the sexual revolution, to whom are we referring? White women in white American? Our Sudanese sisters who are currently sold into slavery? Our African sisters who have been enduring clitorectomies for centuries (though this is changing)? Our Afghan sisters who have no voice? What is sexual revolution for women? Not only is it full equality, which should never be in question in the first place, but also a restoration of a deep and awe-inspiring global respect of women as the givers of life, recognized by our ancestors. Euro-Western women certainly enjoy a degree of freedom from the jail of sexual oppression more than our sisters in third-world countries, even though rape is rampant and goes unnoticed as the unspeakably horrific crime that it is. The brainwashing of women about marriage, however, remains a deeply-rooted problem. Until we understand that marriage, at least in Euro-Western society, was/is a patriarchal invention designed for men to own women and children, women who are seduced by the promise of the white picket fence and prince charming are, by entering into such a contract, only signing their death warrant. As harsh as this may sound, I have lived through this reality, married for twenty-six years, and it nearly killed me before I divorced. Our sisters around the world who do not have this illusive dream are simply treated as property and live in the reality that unless they marry, they have no value whatsoever as a human being, and therefore their very survival depends on being a married woman, whose husbands more often than not use them as objects on which to vent their privileged rage, sexually and otherwise. I recently saw a television program on Chinese women and marriage. Many women in the documentary were elder women-deprived of a lifetime of joy and used to the bone by their abusive husbands. All of the women spoke of their fear of their husbands as well as their feelings that there was no love at all-that love wasn't even an option. As long as those women suffer in such degradation, the sexual revolution we white women here in American allude to is really a privilege.

Of course, we desperately need sexual revolution-everywhere. We need a revolution that IS enough. It is true I am not enduring exactly the same conditions my mother and her mother endured, though my grandmother took her own life, but not before she told my mother "it was a man's world." It is still a man's world. And will be until women choose to become radical revolutionaries, amazing amazons. This revolution begins within. We must learn how we contribute to our own oppression by internalizing the very voices that hate us. We must do our own deep spiritual revolutionary work to be able to hold our sacred ground and create our own mythology. We must be willing to say no to collusion with the patriarchal mind set, which I call PMS. A sexual revolution that is enough will re-create the way we live on this planet. Until women are seen for who we are, and until men are willing to own their out-of-control compulsion to control, dominate and manipulate everything in their path, not much is going to change. We have been doing the same thing on this planet for 5000 years. All war is the same war. All hatred is the same hatred. All of this stems from one reality-the global hatred and subjugation of women.

Let us fuel the revolution from within, find our connection to the sacredness of the Goddess, Mother of All, and step into evolution with certainty and love.